SFR 191: My Coaching Contract Pt 1 – Stephen Larsen

SFR 191: My Coaching Contract Pt 1

Nov 13th, 2018 anchorwave

These are the rules I expect my students (and often my clients) to live by when I begin working with them…

Recently, I’ve had the honor of coaching in the ClickFunnels One Funnel Away Challenge. I’m the guy going in daily to hold people’s feet to the fire.

Just before the challenge, I started thinking about all the scenarios where I’ve coached, and about the patterns that separate the successful from the people who struggle…

THE SUCCESS PREFRAME

THE SUCCESS PREFRAME

I’ve coached over 1,800 people through this process. Many have become millionaires. Others have made hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a ton of people made money online for the first time in their entrepreneurial life. I’m very proud of this…

So I got kinda introspective and started to think the success patterns that I’ve seen.

And not just from a funnel, a sales message, or an offer perspective.

Are there certain characteristics of entrepreneurship that you can model to help you fast track and crush it asap? I believe there are!

What I’m talking about comes more from the perspective of attitude. So I took a step back to look deeply into the individual and the attitudes they had to what I was teaching them.

Base on my observations, I created a personal coaching contract that helps pre-frame an individual to kill it – and these are what I’m going to share with you here.

A few episodes ago, I talked about how a customer comes into your product often determines if they’re successful with it or not. I’m not talking about pre-framing a sales message, I’m talking about creating a customer success pre-frame. And what I’m doing with my coaching contract is the same kind of approach.

I won’t coach anyone who isn’t willing to abide by my rules. It’s 100% cut and dry.

These rules are my pre-frame, and while you’ll see that I have a lot of patience in some areas, you’ll also notice that I have an unapologetic, zero tolerance in others.

The bottom line is: If you won’t commit to this contract, I don’t wanna coach you, (and *NEWS FLASH* you probably won’t achieve the success you crave).

NOT JUST A BUSINESS COACH…

Not Just a Business Coach

When I first started coaching two or three years ago for the original 2 Comma Club Coaching program, I was incredibly stoked… and extremely nervous.

Some of the time, I was on stage with Russell (which was super fun), but most of the time, I was the only coach for 600 students. Whoa, right!

I was like “Holy crap! How I’m gonna do this?”

I went in with the belief and the expectation that I’d exclusively coach marketing. I thought I’d be teaching:

  • Funnels
  • Sales messages.
  • Offer Creation.
  • Traffic.
  • Publishing & Content Creation
  • Being the Attractive Character.
  • New Opportunity Creation

… But that wasn’t what happened.

A few weeks into the program, people starting asking me questions like: “Stephen…

  • “I’m a little bit scared to do what you told me?”
  • “I don’t know what to say in front of the camera?”
  • “I’m afraid I’ll look a fool if I publish?”

And what was funny, was that a lot of the questions… weren’t about marketing!

ENTREPRENEURIAL MINDSET OR ATTITUDE?

ENTREPRENEURIAL MINDSET OR ATTITUDE

It was these mindset questions that shocked me the most when I first started coaching.

Most of the questions people asked me had nothing to do with marketing, and everything to do with beliefs and mindset.

Now I hate the word mindset, so I’m gonna call it Attitude. In my opinion, the term mindset has been overused, and people just make it fluffy.

Even today, about half the question I get have nothing to do with marketing, and everything to do with the individuals’ beliefs and how they approach the task, rather than the task itself.

Do you see a pattern here?

Yes, exactly!

The same way as I coach my students to overcome the objections and false beliefs of their customers before they can sell a product, they also need to overcome their own false beliefs – before they can progress in this game.

Now that’s freaking hard to do…

CAN YOU SEE YOUR FALSE BELIEFS?

CAN YOU SEE YOUR FALSE BELIEFS

Let me ask you a question real quick: “What are your false beliefs?”

If you’re thinking, “…but Stephen, I don’t have false beliefs!” Then you can see how tricky this whole situation is…

Think about it… There’s no such thing as a false belief because while you believe it – it doesn’t seem false, right?

So I made it a goal of my coaching to teach people to do to themselves what I teach them to do to their customers – which is to identify their false beliefs.

Now, we can start structuring belief shifts. Basically, I’m gonna change the way the individual believes. (There’s some serious freaking power in the marketing game – you gotta be careful with it.)

“Hey, what are your false beliefs?” “I don’t have any. They’re my beliefs!” Right? So, it’s a little bit harder to do.

I teach them how to find false beliefs so they can break, rebuild and shift belief them for themselves in the same way as they do for their customers.

I help them to understand: “Look, You have a false belief in this area…”

  • You don’t think it’s gonna work.
  • You are fighting me on it.
  • You’re complaining.
  • You’ve thrown up an objection.
  • You don’t wanna do it anymore.
  • You’re throwing in the towel.”

If I get an individual to point out to themselves the false beliefs they have, it’s insane to see what happens next.

Once you learn how to self-assess the barriers and the obstacles that have been keeping you stuck, then your progress goes through the freakin’ roof.

This is huge to understand. This is a massive, massive concept.

Let me give me show you one of the ways I deal with my own false beliefs.

I have a mannequin called Poverty, it’s a punching bag in the shape of a guy. And on this mannequin, I write down all the things that people are afraid of. I write all the things that freak me out. And then, I beat the crap out of it each morning.

entrepreneurial mindset

I write things like:

  • Shame.
  • Guilt.
  • Not Good Enough.
  • Fear.
  • Imposter.
  • Dummy.

I have Loser on the front of it. All the negative fears that are constantly pushing in on me.

SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT…

I don’t want you to ever look at somebody who’s super successful and think, “Man, they’ve got it all together.”

They’ve just gone through a long disgusting road full of mud on a massive, self-altering journey of self-discovery that you haven’t gone through yet. That’s all it is.

Yes, they made a lot of cash on the way, but first, they had to qualify to make that cash by dealing with their crap.

characteristics of entrepreneurship

In the past year especially, I’ve been learning how to help a student identify their own crap.

“Look, let me help you call yourself out on your own BS:

  • You got some crappy beliefs around this.
  • That’s a false belief.
  • It’s not true.
  • It’s not real.
  • What story have you been telling yourself that’s been keeping that belief alive?”

On the first day of the One Funnel Way Challenge, everyone writes down all their fears and how they’re gonna overcome them.

Don’t make a big ole laundry list that’ll stress you out, but what’s fascinating is…

My business has grown to the extent that I have.

That’s been my biggest realization in the past six months. Like, “Holy crap!” The game’s been even more fun for me because I’ve noticed that as I get more disciplined and add positive constraints to my:

  • Body.
  • Mind.
  • Behaviors.
  • Habits.

I actually become more wealthy, bring in more cash, and help more customers. It’s the weirdest relationship ever.

And so, with all that preface in mind, here are my coaching contract rules.

I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND!

business coach

The first thing I tell my students before they get the coaching contract is:

I’m first your coach, I am not your friend.

  1. If you’re wrong, I’m gonna tell you that you’re wrong.
  2. If I can see you can handle more, I will push you, and I will make it uncomfortable.

I believe in strategic hardship because of what it crafts a person into, and what it helps you to become and do.

I’ve noticed that when somebody follows these rules, I can come in and fulfill my side of the contract. If they follow the rule, I will award them with more of me.

These are some of the rules that I created for the One Funnel Way Challenge, I want to show you some of these things are so that you’re able to see:

  • “That’s why it worked when I worked with Stephen.”
  • “That’s why it didn’t work when I worked with Stephen.”
  • “That’s why it’s never worked yet in general regardless of who I’ve gone to.”

Please know that this comes comes from a place of love. I’m just a product of the product that I’m trying to teach you guys about. I had to get honest with myself too.

I had to look at myself and go, “Stephen, you’re dumb.” I had to get honest. I had to be open. I had to get real.

I was 35% body fat in high school. I was a big kid. I had to say, “Stephen, you’re fat,” and be open about that. I had to accept that and know, accept that my self-worth wasn’t not based on that.

If you own where you are and bask in the reality of where you are – that is one of the biggest keys.

As you go through these rules, you need to understand that I’m very intense as a coach, and it’s because I believe this changes peoples lives. And that’s part of what motivates me to do it, and it’s part of why I don’t care if I offend you a little bit. If it’s truth, it’s truth, okay? And if it offends you, it probably means it’s ultra true.

THE RULES

Number One: “If you will do the work then I will show what work matters.”

I hate fluffy work. I hate busy work. I will never give you any. I will show you the path. I will show you exactly what it is that you need to be doing and what you should NOT do.

fluffy work

Number Two: “If you will show up hungry, then I will match your hunger. I will NOT push harder than you do.”

If you guys went to Funnel Hacking Live 2017, (I hope you guys are all coming this next year because it’s going to be ridiculous) Sean Stevenson gave a speech, and he talked about the motto of the Coast Guard. The Coast Guard has this interesting motto. Here’s the scenario:

There are fifty people in the ocean, and the helicopter can only save 16. Who do you save? That’s a tough question…

Part of the Coast Guard’s motto is that they “Only save those that are swimming towards them.” Those who are actually making an attempt.

You are not a savior to your customer. You can only help those who are willing to help themselves.

The biggest thing that I cannot teach an individual, I’ve tried to find ways, but I can’t figure it out… I cannot teach somebody to be hungry.

If they don’t want it, there’s nothing I can do.

It’s not about going 50/50. It’s about goin’ 100/100. 50/50 sucks. That’s a stupid rule! I need all of their devotion, and I will match the level of their devotion.

Show up hungry, then I will match your hunger.

Some people will be like, “Well, I don’t know if Stephen fulfilled for me?” I’m like, “Well, you never did anything that I told you to do on day one.” I’m just being open. I’m gonna be real and real honest with you. If it offends ya, okay!

show up hungry

Someone’s like, “Well, this ClickFunnels game… Sales… in general… I don’t know if this really works?” Like “No! You’re just not working, okay?”

If you show up hungry, more doors open for you. If you don’t, doors close.

And that’s exactly how it happens in every opportunity in your life. Opportunities don’t stick around. They get passed onto the next person. If you’re not hungry, opportunities don’t stick around.

Rule Number Three: “If you will NOT use your current or past situation as an excuse, and when you do, I will help you call you out on your BS.”

This is a heavy one. I need you to understand this one – it’s huge.

Too many times I’ve noticed people will say, “Well, my situations a little different…” No, it freaking isn’t. It’s different to you, but it’s not different than the hardships or the level of intensity that somebody else who is doing it.

no time

And my personal favorite: “I don’t have the time.” Bull Crap! I don’t believe that one EVER! That one drives me nuts.

Say you don’t have the time or the money, and I will call you out: Yeah? Garbage! Stupid! I don’t believe you! Prove it?

Show me a time study of what you’re doing in your life? I don’t believe you, and I will NOT believe you.

don't make excuses

If you ever walk up to a mic and you ask a Q and A like that, “Well, I just don’t have time to pull this off.” I will publicly make fun of you. That one drives me up the wall!

I was in college, almost getting straight A’s every semester. I was in the army – Holy crap, that was a huge time commitment. I was married, had kids… and I still did my own funnels on the side. Two to three hours a day, that’s all I could squeeze out, but those were the most productive, ferocious three hours of my day. I made sure to give them my best self.

I’m not talking family time or things like that, but every other thing that I had to do came second. My best self was given to me learning funnels. I knew it was the way out.

You’re not allowed to use your current or your past situation as an excuse. Absolutely not. It is a catalyst, NOT a hindrance.

If you use that excuse, then I will help you call you out on your BS.

Sometimes we’re so close to our thing, that we need a second pair of eyes. I’ve spent $75,000 on coaching this year for this very reason. It’s so that somebody else can help call me out on the BS I can’t even see myself.

Number Four: “If you will NOT make someone else responsible for your results, then I will promise I will NOT do any of this for you.”

Now, that one might sound a little weird. Let me just explain this one:

you own every success and every failure

If you will NOT make someone else responsible for your results – which means you own every success and every failure.

  • Every time you didn’t do what you were supposed to that day – that’s your fault.
  • I need people to understand this one.

You are responsible for everything that happens in your life – even if you actually weren’t responsible for it. Even if it isn’t a responsibility of yours to bear.

We had to cancel pictures we had planned because it was rained, so I thought, “Yeah, I should have looked at the weather.” Wasn’t my fault freaking rain came out. But it’s extreme ownership.

There’s a good book called Extreme Ownership, which talks about this kind of concept.

If you come in with extreme ownership, I promise to NOT do it for you.

Most of the time I see a lot of the coaches just so that they can help get results for the individual, they will actually go and start doing the task for the student. The problem with that is that when the coach leaves, the student has not learned how to go through that mental challenge on their own.

Number Five: “If you’ll be polite to your naysayers, then I agree to make a safe house for you.”

I’m not here to belittle people. I’m not here to just shove down, “Man, you suck, you suck.” I hate that, that’s not my style at all. I’m real. I’m honest, I’m open, but I’m also a safe haven.

And so that’s part of what I come to people’s relationships with when I start doing coaching with them.

Naysayers are actually a catalyst for you, NOT a hindrance.

naysayers

Naysayers are a natural byproduct of anybody who’s in motion.

And so WHEN they come to you… when NOT if

When they come to you, and they start saying things like, “I don’t think you can do that. Isn’t that risky? Why don’t you just get a job?”

And I’ve heard that one a ton: “Why don’t you just get a job?”

You just go to them, and you just pat their little heads, and you say “Ah, bless you, my small minded person.” And just walk on.

whatever

When somebody tells you to “Get a proper job” and you don’t go nuts on them, you pass the test – you win!

At the beginning of this game, I made that mistake for a while. Too much of my personal value was hinged on what I thought other people thought of me.

Number Six: “If you will only compare you to you, then I will only compare you to you.”

only compare you to you

This is a fascinating one.

One of the biggest reasons I see that people fail in any game. Meaning, in business, entrepreneurship or anything, is that they start comparing themselves to somebody else.

You can use the results of someone else to motivate you. But do NOT ever base your self-worth on the results of somebody else.

When you start to do that, you are actually basing your self-worth on an ideal. And the issue ideals is that they change with every moment. In the blink of the eye, the ideal has changed.

It’s like pop culture. You can’t define what it is to be cool in pop culture because it changes every single freakin’ minute.

The problem is there’s no way to measure progress because your goal changes all the time.

Instead, just measure yourself against yourself; your history, your past, and where you’ve come from. Then sprint forward like crazy.

Measuring your progress against yourself is an accelerant.

Measuring your progress against yourself is an accelerant

You can look up and see, “Check it out. Oh, that’s so cool. That guy’s done that. I wanna do that.” Then put your head down, and only compare yourself to where they were yesterday.

The only competition you really have is YOU against YOU “yesterday.”

When you base your sense of self-worth on where you’ve come from rather than where somebody else is, “Oh man,” that really speeds you along in the process.

*UNTIL PART #2* – Keep Crushing It!

Hey, wish you could geek out with other real funnel builders, and even ask questions while I build funnels live?

Oh oh, wish granted…

Watch and learn funnel building as I document my process in my funnel strategy group. It’s free, just go to the scienceofsellingonline and join now.

The post SFR 191: My Coaching Contract Pt 1 appeared first on Sales Funnel Radio Blog.

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