SFR 150: Competing With Your Attractive Character – Stephen Larsen

SFR 150: Competing With Your Attractive Character

Jun 22nd, 2018 anchorwave

If you’ve read Expert Secrets (if not – why not?) – You’ll know that one of the essential ingredients for business success is the ATTRACTIVE CHARACTER.

Nope, this doesn’t mean that you have to be a picture-perfect pin-up – like yours truly – ahem 😉

Steve funny face

An Attractive Character is someone who’s comfortable sharing their talents, ideas, unique abilities with their audience. However, you don’t need to be a perfect or ‘ideal’ character to do this successfully… In fact, it’s far better if you’re not!

The fastest way to commit entrepreneurial suicide is to start competing with your attractive character on strengths.

Let me explain:

If you compete on strengths, there will always be somebody better, faster, stronger, more talented, or better-looking – Yes, even in my case… (hard to believe I know).  It’ll never be enough.

Measuring your attractive character on a scale of perceived strengths and weaknesses will always lead to disappointment because such ‘ideals’ are usually impossible to live up to.

Small person at feet of big people

The problem with ‘ideals’ is that they’re fluffy, fictitious, and out there. So there’s no way for you to know if you’ll ever even hit them. Ideals are ever-changing and unmeasurable. #unattainable.

You’ll always be chasing unicorns and looking outside of yourself for validation or approval.


Your BUSINESS, on the other hand, does compete based on its strengths. In the marketplace, a business is valuable if it:

  • Answers questions
  • Solves Problems
  • Gives people what they want
  • Delivers value in an entirely new & unique way

When you look at your business, you always need to find ways to be the BEST and deliver MORE.

However, your Attractive Character doesn’t compete on strengths. Isn’t that interesting? In fact:

“The surest way to depression and failure is to measure your Attractive Character on the SAME criteria as your business”

woman wow


For a long time, I was really shy. I would say I even had a near-clinical fear of adults. I would see an adult, and I would physically move in a different direction.

Even in my early twenties, my shyness persisted. It’s not that I was cowering, or that I wouldn’t speak to anybody ever… I was doing everything that I could not to engage with other human beings.

I don’t know why I was that way – I just was.

A few years before I started working at ClickFunnels, I realized that my shyness was holding me back from creating the life I wanted.

I wanted to step up, so I started doing things like door-to-door sales for the explicit reason of learning how to sell in scary environments. I started doing telemarketing to learn how to sell in environments where you’re constantly getting rejected.

It was challenging, but I began to notice that my ability to speak and sell, slowly start to improve.

I don’t know that everyone has to go through such an extreme learning experience, but for me, it was incredibly helpful.

I started studying great speakers intently.

Now, this is probably going to sound a little weird, but knowing that I needed to develop my speaking skills further, I’d take my computer and find videos of amazing speakers on stage… I did this with Russell Brunson’s stuff. I’d take his videos and mute them. Then I’d stand in front of a mirror, mimicking his gestures and his energy.

I’d be moving around mirroring everything he was doing. It was sooo weird. It was awkward, but it was what I needed to start breaking out of the shell I was in. It’s how Steve Larsen (as you know him) was born.

Steve Larson on stage

Fast forward a few years, and I was working for Russell – sitting next to him. We were getting ready for the first FHAT event – the Funnel Hackathon.

Right before Russell is about to go on stage, he turned to me and said, “Hey dude. Do you wanna introduce me?”

When someone of influence asks me to do something, my knee-jerk reaction is to say “YES!” and then figure out how to do it later. (This attitude has brought to a lot of cool places in life.)

Inside the room, there’s a bunch of brilliant people who all know what they’re talking about. Collectively they’re worth hundreds of millions of dollars…

I remember sitting there wondering what I’d let myself in for? I didn’t know how to do this! Surely there must be a script or a way to introduce people, that I could use?

Sensing my panic, Russell turned to me – and, I want to share this with you because it really, really, really matters…

He said, “Dude, it’s quite impressive how you model me. You model me to the ‘T.’ You do everything that I do, but you’ve got to use your own voice eventually. Just do introduce me in your own way.”

It’s funny because I knew the answer, but when Russell said it to me in that way, I took notice!

You may be wondering what all this has to do with anything? Well, let me tell you – it has everything to do with the success of your Attractive Character.

While your attractive character shouldn’t compete on ‘strengths’ – it does compete with all the flaws, quirks, vulnerabilities, and the character traits that make you different and unique. This is the stuff you should go publish about.

When I hear somebody say, “I can’t be successful because I have a stutter” or I have this limitation or that limitation, or “I’m dyslexic,” or “I have ADHD.” Man, that’s just wrong!

Did you know that most billionaires are dyslexic? Seriously, go look it up. Richard Branson – the guy’s dyslexic – it didn’t stop him.

A counselor once told me that I have a lot of ADHD tendencies. For a long time, I used to think that this was a hindrance. But that’s garbage. It’s bullcrap.

That’s not what the game’s about. Your business competes on strengths, but your Attractive Character competes on differences.

You get to do all the quirky things you love to do. Those little character traits that make you a bit weird, those things that you don’t necessarily want other people to see… Man, those are your freakin’ superpowers.

Super girl

When I talk about my struggles and my challenges, those of you who feel the same way reach out to me and say, “I getcha. I feel ya. I’m with ya. I understand what you’re saying.” If I wasn’t willing to expose my vulnerabilities – the things that I feel I’m limited on – I wouldn’t be able to connect with you in the same way. Does that make sense?

What makes you ‘attractive’ is your ability to be open about the things that you’re not amazing at, your little quirks… the things that you ‘like’ or ‘don’t like.’

If you try to compete on strengths, if you try to be something that you’re not – IT WILL SINK YOU. You’ll have a tough time connecting with your audience. Your audience won’t feel your authenticity. If you’re not true to yourself, people can smell it.

man with lie on face

So don’t think you have to change who you are – just become a louder version of you. That’s what the attractive character is.

Your differences ARE your superpowers. They call your tribe out and provides a blanket of security for people who follow you.


Every Monday morning, I always yell on Instagram. I get up, and I yell, “Whoo, Yeah Baby.” – REALLY LOUDLY.

Recently a whole bunch of you guys have been yelling back at me. Russell’s there yelling. Peng Joon’s in there yelling. It’s really fun.
Go check it out – you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Have you ever wondered why do I do that? Well, it’s because it’s what I’d do anyway. I’m just being me – only louder. That’s the real trick with becoming an attractive character. If you can find your quirks and exaggerate them you’ll be on the right track.

This internet business doesn’t exist to change you into someone you’re not.

Meaning that there’s this facade, right? Expensive fancy cars. Living in a mansion. It’s complete garbage. There’s no persona that you HAVE to go live. It’s crap. Don’t believe it.

Fancy car

For those people who are doing it because that’s who they are, that’s great! I’m not poo-pooing it. That’s awesome. However, if you’re not naturally that way; you don’t have to pretend.

I love loud music, guns, and yard work – so those are some of the things I talk about. You also know that I’m a bit obsessive, that I used to be shy, that I joined the army, and that I’ve been known to dress in a chicken outfit. *Thank You, Dana Derricks*

Steve in chicken outfit


When I first worked at ClickFunnels, Russell and I would sit back to back. His computer and my computer were facing each other – so I could see his reflection in my screen…

I was like, don’t say anything or you’ll die. “Russell’s gonna melt me with his marketing zeroes and ones!” That was my mentality.

All this is burned into my memory. I remember the way the room smelled. I remember the way it looked. I remember everything about that room.

Over to my right, there was a book called: ‘How The World Sees You.’ On its back cover, it said two things:

  • Don’t compete on your strengths. Compete on your differences
  • You don’t learn interesting, you unlearn boring

Think about these phrases for a moment… they will make your life sooo much easier.

Once you realize that the ONLY way to move forward with your Attractive Character by comparing YOU to YOUR own history – you’ll feel so much freer.

Superhero kid

By focusing on how far you’ve come and what you’ve learned – you’ll dump the self-sabotage – and stop burying yourself in a pit of comparison and self-doubt. That’s it.

If you’re not like everyone else, then good, great, awesome. Be louder about it! You’ll find it’s an accelerant. A catalyst, an enzyme. *Other synonyms*. You’ll move forward faster. It’s so much easier!

If you’re comparing your business to somebody else’s, I don’t see a massive problem with that, as long as you know that you’re NOT your business.

Get in the habit of running your critiques through a filter. Always ask:

“Is this a business-oriented adjustment, or is this just, who I am?”

You need to start separating Business from YOUR Attractive Character. Just remember that your Business is NOT judged on the same report card as your Attractive Character.

I’m all for self-improvement, but NEVER tie your self-worth to the worth of your business. You are NOT your business.


Something fascinating, that I’ve noticed recently, is that my business doesn’t grow past the level of my attractive character. So, now I have to keep developing individually, personally, mentally to sustain growth on all levels.

Looking back I can see how important the development of an Attractive Character has been to the success of my business – and that’s why I want to share it with you today… and even more than sharing, I want to encourage you to take action

If, as an entrepreneur, you feel like you’re spinning your wheels – feeling like your never going to ‘make it’ – or you’re stuck in comparisonitis, then…

I challenge you to sit down and start thinking about what makes you different:

  • Grab a pen and write down your quirks and your struggles
  • Start becoming aware of who you are – of ‘what’ makes you different and unique
  • Then be willing to get vulnerable and share those differences

It may require you to drop a wall that you’ve built because you’re afraid of people seeing the true you – but, believe me, it’ll be worth it!

Once you start to become aware of the power you have inside of you… The power that’s already there… The power of your Attractive Character – you’ll no longer feel the frustration of competing on strengths alone. As you grow your Attractive Character, your business will grow too – just try it and see!

Until next time – Go Crush it!

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